Wow, what a day.  My mind has been so many places!  From my girls, to my work, to my marriage, to my friends, to babies, to teachers and school, to customers and mentors, to dishes, to gymnastics, to bikes for little girls, and birthday parties, dentist, neighbors, to blogging, to facebook, to family, to God, to life...my goodness, no wonder I'm exhausted!  Seriously, this is like a quarter of everything I thought about today.  I feel like my mind is opening up and flowering... kind of like my super awesome tree out my back door at home.  It is beginning to flower it's pale pink flowers, but only half of them are open...the rest of them are a deep wine color and are still tightly closed.  I'm thinking by the end of this week it will be completely blooming...it only lasts for such a small amount of time so I have to enjoy every bit of it...even the anticipation of it :).. anyway, that was a little off-track but you get what I'm saying..  For real, though, I feel like in the last few days since I've started blogging my mind WANTS to think about as many things as possible so that I can put it all into words later.  It's so weird for me.. it's like my mind has been turned off for such a long time... and I've activated SOMETHING in my brain that makes me want to think... YIKES!!  Kinda weird.  Probably for you.  Not for me.  I feel like I'm coming alive.  I'm sad sometimes, and angry and hurt, but I feel like maybe God is pouring His love out on me like a mighty wave because lately I'm beginning to feel more fulfilled by things NOT of this world instead of everything that's in it....And of course I have people to thank for this... there have been some pretty amazing people that have come up beside me and been praying for me and encouraging me daily, and not giving up on me...  I'm pretty blessed.  Life may not be what I want it to be exactly right now but I am beginning to believe that through every trial in life, God opens the windows of His heart and pours out His love on us and shows us things we never would have seen had it not been for that trial.  Thank you Lord for beginning a good work in me.

So I have this little devotional that I got from one of my super sweet Sunday School kids at Christmas time called "Jesus Calling"... and ever since I started reading it every morning the minute I get up...I've felt like the words in each day's devo was written perfectly and exactly for me.. for example today I read the line "Your capacity to experience Me is increasing, through My removal of debris & clutter from your heart.  As your yearning for me increases, other desires are gradually lessening.  Since I am infinite and abundantly accessible to you, desiring Me above all else is the best way to live."...  all i can say is awesome.  Just right, exactly what I needed to hear... a little reassurance from His mouth to me... awesome.  If you don't have this devotional... get it.  today.

Okay, so I just have to tell you about the AMAZING little treat I got to have tonight with some friends... super duper cute.  Tiny little angel food cakes topped with fresh strawberries mixed in coolwhip... simple?  yep.. awesome?  YEP!!  You totally want that now don't you...ha ha ha.

So I've decided to work a Yatec.  I've been THROUGH but never worked one...for those of you who know what YATEC is... then maybe you think it would be fun... for me, I'm terrified.  I hate not knowing what to expect, not being in control, not knowing what's going on, what I may have to share or hide or leave behind...scary for me... but I'm going to do it none-the-less...  I figure I'll never know what may or may not have happened if I never try it...I think that may go for a lot of other things in my life that I've always stood back from and never tried because of what other people might say or think too.  Oh dear, what have I gotten my mind into now?  I'm not sure I want to go there... I mean, if I did, I would have to think of all the things I could be doing... uh-oh... done thinking about that now... not ready yet...  back to Yatec... I tend to freak myself out about stuff (especially social stuff), that's why I'm scared... I mean, if I didn't have to I wouldn't go anywhere alone.  I dislike being the only thing that people can look at because that means that they would HAVE to look at me... for example, if I had one or both of my daughters with me..people would quicker look at one of them than me... I'd prefer that.  Is that shy or lacking in self confidence?...  I'll go with lacking in self confidence...  Hmm, that's interesting.. I never thought of that before.. I mean that I'd rather not be alone because I don't want people looking at me.. different.  I guess that means that I don't want to be noticed.. normally I would feel sorry for people that seemed to not want to be noticed... but I don't feel sorry for me right now.  How crazy to let what other people think or say make me feel bad.  I'm not living for them... I'm living for HIM!
Okay, that was pretty deep for me... I'm going to bed.  Peace.